not a good talker,that i have to admit.
and pouring out my feelings to others,will only make this tiny heart ache.
i'm not a talker, not a good person either.

i wanna break away from all those circles for a while.enough of being pushed around or having to go just because i don't want to hurt people's feelings.i am sick and tired of all these stuff.told you,this is so not my stuff.all those things.i just can't cope with it,let alone to bear with it.just let me find my own way.i'm not some six years old kid.stop trying to control my life.i can think.i know what's right and wrong.stop acting like you really know me.it breaks my heart seeing people pretending that they care when they are not even the closest to me.

i.a.w.

nampak seseorang.dan mata bertentang.senyum diukir.
dan mula mendapat ilham untuk menulis.

bukan satu, tapi dua.
dan tersimpan kemas.
seperti kelmarin,terasa seperti ingin berhenti menulis.

ironi,hari ini menulis lagi.
people surprises me at times.
someone i've never talked to before,inspired me to start writing.again.

kita

percaturan kali ini maha hebat.
moga Allah permudahkan.insyaAllah.
rancang tak rancang,hanya mampu usaha.the rest,serahkan pada Yang Maha Esa.baik buruk, alhamdulillah wa astaghfirullah.
moga Allah beri kekuatan untuk berdiri teguh dan dikuatkan hati esok.
insyaAllah.bersama kita lebih teguh.sendiri aku rapuh.

h2

here's hanani.

who wanted to be good so badly.

oh ya.rindu zaman sharing-sharing bagi ceramah.
i love to talk to people.
dan ya,rindu nak bagi ceramah motivasi kat adik-adik sekolah macam dulu-dulu.

dua

dua karya yang tulis secara main-main.published at iluvislam.
shall i start writing again?

deviation

i am not who you think i am.
running away, that's what i've been doing.
and yes, i don't fit in.
and i never tried to.
if and if i ever did that, then poor me.
i'll lost myself just to be with people.

no regrets.no regrets.
i don't fit in, i don't mind.
i don't do groups. never good at it.
i'm good at being alone. really.
and don't feel sorry for that.

i am not who you think i am.
i am unhappy trying to fit in.
the life i'm living is a torment.
lying, even faking that little smile everyday.
even i,
have forgotten how to smile.

i am not who you think i am.
we never had real conversations.
we never talk. we speak. but we don't understand.
such feeling was never there in the first place.
my heart is as black as a lonely night.
the path i walk.ah. different from yours.
but never did i want to be threading in yours.
mine, as destined is mine and only me.

i am not who you think i am.
i miss those feelings. to be free again.
against all thoughts. free from those emotions that have been suppressed deep down inside.
i, as i am refuse to be in your path.
the more i am being told, the more i'll stray off.
and affection, is definitely not my thing.
space, is all i need.
some people, like me, just sometimes prefer to be alone.
because i don't get too comfortable with people. i don't allow myself to get too comfortable with people. sometimes, when people are too comfortable with one another, they tend to forgot to spare other people's feelings and spaces.
and yes, space is all i need. so there is no use to get too accustomed to people.
i'm feeding on high expectation. this i know.

i am upset.yes.but i tried not to show it.but it did,sometimes.i just don't fit in there.wondered why i ended up there at the first place.i'm not some six years old kid you could boss around.i'm tired.indeed.tired.and lost.